You hear about “PRIDE” almost everywhere. A word with many connotations, some politicized, some related to vanity. At times, “pride” is polarizing (Us against Them), OR a word for group/social/national cohesion (American Pride, Team Pride).
As best I can tell, animals do not show pride - at least the way humans do.
“Pride” can be socio-political.
Gay Pride, LGBT Pride or LGBTQ Pride that celebrates, in June, LGBTQ identity.
Gay Pride commemorates the Stonewall riots of June 28, 1969, following the NYC Police raiding of the Stonewall Inn bar in Greenwich Village.
“PRIDE” has double-meaning:
It can be a kind of happiness or satisfaction after achieving something. Example: When you do a good job.
Pride can be negatively skewed as in overly high self-regard (or vanity). Conceit, arrogance, self-superiority underscore this.
“Pride” is, of course, one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”. In this sense, pride refers to its intra-personal negative-valence.
ORIGIN OF PRIDE
Pride (noun) is from Middle English “prede”
In late Old English it was pryto, Kentish prede, Mercian pride.
In all cases, with the exception of French, the word meant "unreasonable self-esteem, haughtiness, overbearing; love of display.”
The French corollary took a different path - This is where the positive side of pride originates. - prud, prute, modified into the adjective prouz meaning "brave, valiant".
In modern English, “pride” is the same word with dual meanings.
Cambridge Dictionary:
Pride (noun - satisfaction) - a feeling of pleasure and satisfaction that you get because you or people connected with you have done or gotten something good…
Pride (noun - aggrandizement) - the belief that you are better or more important than other people.
PRIDE Festivals simply add a variant meaning layer to the word, many groups through history have used pride to highlight specialness.
EXAMPLE: Catholic Pride Month, also in June. Some Catholics feel Gay Pride Month (June) coopted Catholic Pride Month.
But,
Where does it say you can’t have multiple sources of specialness in the same month?
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PRIDE
Pride is NOT (ALMOST NEVER) a reason for entering therapy. I haven’t seen anyone who entered therapy stating, “Dr., I'm miserable because I have too much Pride. I need to reduce this, maybe with a little humility or something.”
In fact, Pride can be a barrier to therapy.
Why?
Because “Pride” by its psychological nature, prevents unbiased self-examination or introspection. You can’t really objectively evaluate yourself if you have a Pride bias.
Pride does have its own brand of psychopathology.
In the extreme, people who comprehensively view themselves through the lens of Pride can be labeled (or diagnosed) as:
NARSISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
Is being a Narcissist one of the Seven Deadly Sins?
NO
I don’t believe narcissism (as a Personality Disorder) is learned.
Amplified, YES, learned, NO.
Narcissism is influenced, and magnified, by others, circumstances, and events. BUT, Narcissism is NOT learned. I’ve seen too many narcissists in therapy to believe that someone could learn the complex behavioral (and thought) profile of a narcissistic personality disorder.
SHOULD WE BLAME NARCISSISTS FOR WHAT THEY DO?
This is where the “Deadly Sin of Pride” and “Narcissism” interact. Narcissists are, indeed, prideful, and some of this is innate. I’ve never treated a narcissist who didn’t show some level of pride. But, there are two kinds of narcissism pride:
Pathological Pride: Pathological pride is present in several psychiatric diagnoses: Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathy in most of its forms, Bipolar Disorder (manic phase), some forms of Schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders.
Pathological pride: is not learned “pride” as most people think of the word. I re-define pride here as “self-aggrandizement” and generally, this is fragile and elusive, but a persistent and unchangeable psychiatric symptom that looks and feels like self-pride in the form of over-assurance, that; one is correct/right all the time. This kind of pride is not amenable to countervailing feedback or reality correction. Pathological pride is almost always driven by “shame” and “guilt” which can replace the internal experience of pathological pridefulness almost instantaneously. A person can act in one moment, prideful; then in the next moment be filled with intense guilt or shame. In these cases, a specific neurology (interacting with a pathology) is at work.
Modifiable Pride: Is where “Pride” fits as one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”. Here, pride develops from, among other things, early childhood imitation of a “prideful role model”. “Dad, I want to be rich and powerful like you.”
Where an impressionable infant-toddler-child is consistently and intensely exposed (and rewarded) by a powerful role model that is supported by the cultural milieu. Pride can start in fantasy then move to reality especially when rewards are delivered for prideful behavior.
Modifiable Pride is open to influence, through, among other avenues, alternate values systems. Religion, in some cases, promotes and teaches concepts like humility, altruism, modesty for the sake of others. Religious ritual/doctrine attempts to generate social and internal rewards for such behavior (think: tithing, kneeling in prayer, promotion of altruistic acts). Below are typical Quran and Bible value teaching themes:
BIBLE
Matthew 5:5: "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."
Romans 12:3 (KJV): “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”
QURAN
Surah Al-Furqan 25:63 - “The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say words of peace.”
Modifiable Pride: Jim Smith jr. is an exceedingly wealthy adult. His money is from an extended family legacy, Jim’s father a since deceased wealthy real-estate mogul was Jim’s idol. Jim followed in father’s footsteps, to the letter. Jim sets himself apart from others due to wealth. He, his spouse and 3 children, live in a McMansion on 4 acres of land. Jim owns cars, boats, vacation homes. A chef cooks the family meals, vacations are pre-arranged, first class. Jim’s oldest son, Jimmy Smith II, was raised in wealth, went to private schools, went to Harvard because his father was a Harvard alumni. Jim belongs to the Young Entrepreneurs Club (YEC), Jimmy has a strong sense of self-pride. He would never be without his light-blue blazer. He believes the poor, for the most part, should pull themselves out of their own poverty. He enjoys real estate and hopes for Dad’s businesses when the time comes.
What experiences or information would modify Jim’s Pride? Pride, in many instances is simply a POV.
I’m at the end of my word limit, but I want to add a short questionnaire for you to assess whether you feel or experience “modifiable pride”.
This quick test will give you an estimate of your self-pride level, which is the mood you are in when you do something good. Pride is a positive emotion, it increases one's self-esteem and self-confidence, but it can easily exceed and produce negative effects. Possessing too much self-pride leads to arrogance.
1 - You had an argument with a friend, and you start thinking that you were wrong. What do you do?
a. You call him back to confess your mistake b. You call him to clarify
c. You wait for him to call back anyway
2 - You admit your faults:
a. Never b. Even when you're not wrong c. Only when you're wrong
3 - In arguments, who is usually right?
a. The other person b. It depends c. You
4 - How easily do you talk about your feelings?
a. Very easily b. It depends on the situation c. Hardly
5 - People that know you think that you are:
a. Not proud of yourself b. Proud of yourself when necessary c. Very proud of yourself
6 - Have you ever avoided a person after a silly argument?
a. Never b. Once c. More than once
7 - When someone offends you, what's your reaction?
a. You feel mortified and keep silent b. You immediately ask for an explanation c. You get angry and prepare a revenge
8 - You run into an acquaintance of yours and he seems to avoid you on purpose. You:
a. greet him jovially b. greet him as you always do c. snub him
9 - Do you ever feel better than other people?
a. Never b. Sometimes c. Frequently
10 - Do you ever boast about your achievements and results with your friends?
a. Never b. Sometimes c. Frequently
This test can be taken and scored on the internet. Here is the link:
https://www.noanxiety.com/tests/pride-test.html
There are no norms or standards for this test (at least that I could find). It appears to me to be “face-valid.” The goal, here, is simply to informally evaluate how you experience “modifiable pride”.
If there are sufficient readers, I will write, Part 2: How to address a prideful psychological state.