We experience the World as a pushing, pulling, smashing, spinning, jostling, submerging, and lifting force.
We push buttons, pull levers, we hold and turn wheels (e g., steering wheels), we talk and touch others. At the same time we are touched by the World physically and emotionally.
This is the backdrop for POV.
People have told me they have been touched by what I will call the “world of the mind;” things paranormal: ghosts, ancestors from the dead, the Holy Ghost, Jesus, gods of various sorts, spirits of all types. Even though we can’t actually hear, see, or measure the world of the mind, we feel sensations; formless objects brush against us. We might experience a sensation of cold when temperature has not changed. A push from behind, when no one is there. “There is more to be seen than meets the eye.”
What Does This Mean?
Prophets say they have spoken with or are being spoken to by God. Moses and the Burning Bush, Joseph Smith who claimed God and Jesus Christ personally spoke to him in a vision. I don’t recall writings of people literally being physically touched by God, but artists have depicted the “touch of God”.
Perhaps, this “Godly” touch is only a metaphor that means: “God or something like God is influencing us.” When I think of the word God, I frequently replace it with the phrase: “The Unconscious.”
Why The Unconscious? Because people seem to get worked-up when I use the word “God.”
For example, some religions teach that using the word “God” is sacrilege.
The Unconscious, instead, embodies, for me, the “unknown,” “the unknowable,” and the “unexplainable,” “the fantastic.”God is defined as something (or someone) omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. God (or The Unconscious) is essentially a fantastic or unknowable entity or force. The only difference is that when we think of “God” we think in a specific direction: GOOD versus bad. People worship God because they want God to “bless” them. When we think of The Unconscious we think of non-direction (directionless): UNKNOWABLE. The Unconscious doesn’t have our best interests in mind, we certainly don’t worship it. It’s just there (if it is even there). The Unconscious conforms more easily to the “World of the Mind” than does God.
There are many, many unanswered questions. Questions that can never be answered or are even answerable. Questions like: What happens when I die? These are questions that the “rational” mind cannot hope to comprehend. Language gives us rudimentary capability to describe and talk about the “unknown” and “unknowable” but language is limiting.
POV occurs, most of the time, within language. But it doesn’t have to. Animals have a POV. When my cat hears a dog bark, it’s tail puffs out and it runs (even if the dog isn’t around). Cat POV. “That Bark is Harmful, RUN.” Human POV, just like human language, is elaborate, but at its core: “POV is our animal nature.” That’s why we trust it. That’s also why it’s hard to change one’s POV. “I’m a Republican/Democrat and I’m not listening to the other side.” “Jesus is my personal Savior, and that’s all there is to it.”
I recall a client some years back who became so angry especially in political conversations that he would start yelling, throwing things (at times) at anyone; friends, family, opponents. He had hurt people in the past. We practiced taking “DIFFERENT” POV positions. If he was for Trump, I would have him argue for (Biden) and I would play the (Trump) role. We would switch roles every 10 minutes.
At first, he couldn’t do it. He once left a session early. Said he couldn’t take it anymore, that I was a lousy SOB therapist and he was going to find someone else. But, he came back, apologized, and we started again. He couldn’t shift his POV. We kept this intervention going for almost 2 years. Finally, he started to play along, soon he was feeling better about himself and his world. These were hard sessions, this was a difficult client. That was my POV, but I engaged with him anyway.
It’s hard to shift POV.
Have you ever been wrong? I mean, dead wrong. Completely wrong. Even when you were sure you were right. If so, you know how hard it is to change your POV. If POV gets frozen, then you have Paranoia. I’ve discussed paranoia in other entries. This is a tricky disorder, dominated as much by neurology as it is by psychology, so it is hard to say how much control an actual paranoid person has over his life and POV.
Alcohol abusers (or alcoholics) have a very difficult time with POV. I’ve treated a lot of alcoholics over my 27 years as a licensed psychologist. Sure, they know that alcohol is bad for them, that alcohol could kill them, that they should NOT drink while driving, that alcohol is ruining their marriage, compromising their job, destroying what friendships they have left, causing them to gain weight, damaging their kidneys and liver, damaging their overall health, limiting their stamina. These concerns are just a partial listing. But, still, they drink. POV: “Dr. I hear what you are saying, but for me, drinking is OK. I want to do it, I need to do it. It helps me relax, it makes me social, I can’t give it up.”
What could be a better example of an intransigent POV!
Here’s an example when I discuss drinking and driving. Drive over the legal blood-alcohol limit and you spin a giant roulette wheel. 60% of the slots are marked (disaster) and of these 10% are marked (unrecoverable disaster). The remaining 30% are marked nothing happens. If you win, nothing happens. To lose is a disaster. Lose big and you go to jail with a felony record. When you get in a car and drive drunk, you spin this wheel, and you spin it ever 15 minutes you are driving with the hope that “nothing happens.” Would you want to drive drinking under these conditions? Most rational people would say no, but drinkers choose, frequently, to drive. Why? Because they “Want To!” This is there POV.
“OK, but if I’m addicted to alcohol, I’m depressed, or I’m scared, or I’m being abused, or I have a chronic progressive illness, or I’m financially poor, or…” and the list goes on… “Dr., I can’t help but have a negative or fearful or depressed or sad or hopeless or worthless or helpless POV.”
Let’s say you have the stomach flu. You feel awful, right!
Your POV is tainted by something that poisoned your body.
You experience a range of negative emotions because your bodily functions are out of whack and you body is trying to expel the toxin. You are hoping you get better, but at the time you are ill, it doesn’t feel like you are going to get better.
“Let’s go for a run” “NO, I’m sick, my skin is pale, I’m sweating, I have a fever, I feel like death warmed over, I’m not going for a run because I’m feeling ill.” This is your POV. You could still run. Some people do especially those who value exercise OVER health.
When you “choose” to run or not to run, you are expressing a POV - driven primarily by your perception of a physical illness that is impacting your wellbeing. You probably feel depressive-like symptoms when you are recovering from food poisoning. This depressive feeling shapes your POV against doing things while you are sick.
A client once told me, “Dr., sometimes I get drunk because afterwards I feel awful, but then I start feeling better. I long for that feeling - “to feel I’m getting better.” So, I get “blackout drunk” because I know when I stop drinking I will feel terrible, but then, I will soon start feeling better. I have created my own situation where I feel like I’m getting better.”
This might sound crazy to some readers, but it was this person’s POV that he could do something that would somehow cause himself to feel better. He didn’t value drinking, he valued feeling better.
POV is under your control.
Can a person shape his or her POV towards better emotional health? YES!
Step 1. Think about a conflict you have with someone. What is the conflict about? Who is it with? How do you feel about it? How do you feel about the other person? What steps do you want to take to resolve it?
Take a few minutes to write down your answers to the previous questions. This can help you process your thoughts and emotions. Before moving on to the next step, try to understand what’s underlying the conflict (for you) that you’re experiencing.
Step 2. Now, Think about what’s bothering you from the perspective of the person(s) you’re having the conflict with. How do you think they see the conflict? How do you think they feel about it? How do they feel about you? What were their intentions that started this conflict?
Take a few minutes to write about the conflict from the other person(s) perspective.
Step 3. Return to your own perspective. Answer the questions from Step 1 again. Did this exercise help you to think about the conflict in a different way?
Are your answers to the questions the same as before, or have they changed?
POV is embedded in our social world in our VALUES. Most of my blog entries ultimately boil down to your personal VALUES. Even if you are sick, experience mental illness, are in a disrupted state, traumatized by your past, you can still have VALUES and this means you can shape your POV.
VALUES COME FROM WITHIN YOU.
VALUES are not given to you by your parents, by your church, by whatever God you believe in, by your friends, by your education. Sure, you are exposed to different VALUES by these entities, but YOU are the owner of your own VALUES.
If you say, “I’m doing this because I was told to do this by my Church Leaders, Scriptures, even “my depression makes me do this.” etc. You are fooling yourself. YOU are doing things because you chose to do things based on your VALUES. You formed most of your POV based on your VALUES. Unless you happen to be in a full-blown psychotic state (and I will talk about this later), you choose your VALUES…End of Sermon.
POV CLOSING
I am ending my POV discussion at this point. The reason for this is that I want to discuss other topics that might appeal to different interests (my POV for ending this discussion). But, I end on this note. POV IS A BIG DEAL. It is not a theory of the psyche (as in psychoanalytic theory), it is a component of REALITY. If you want to get along in life with some degree of contentment and satisfaction, you need to evaluate your own POV and shape it based on your abilities to discover and understand the world around you as a place that is open to different POVS. YOU DON”T NEED RELIGION, or even SCHOOLING for this. YOU NEED AN OPEN MIND. Developing an OPEN MIND is the key for cultivating a mature POV.